The strange thing is, looking back I knew that there were far too many days creeping in where I had relaxed my own guidelines. For example, I might have a carb filled calorific main course then still have a dessert. Whereas before I would have either had just the heavy meal or the dessert in one day. (Along with my normal healthy regimen.)
I also relaxed my alcohol rule. Instead of 2 or 3 glasses of wine in a day, I kept having a whole bottle, or maybe 5 bottles of beer. I must have been semiconscious of slipping, but I still did it.
It seems like I got stuck for weeks at 220 pounds and now 210 pounds. Why the round numbers? It is simply because 220 pounds used to be my target in the past, because I was ‘naturally stocky’ and I didn’t want to end up looking like ‘skin and bones’.
These two phrases, ‘naturally stocky’, and ‘skin and bones’ have been mental blocks
They have been part of the brick wall constructed by my insecure ego who couldn’t face the fact that it was a failure in weight loss. These were five everyday words, that helped scuttle my efforts. Along with all the other poisonous self-talk.
Why has 210 pounds been a barrier? In England, we don’t talk about pounds or kilos, (at least not my generation). We use the imperial metric of Stones, pounds and ounces. Two hundred and twelve pounds is 15 stone. Fifteen stone is a figure that seems to represent a lot, at least to me. For example, if you are over 6 foot and 15 stone you can compare yourself with a heavy weight boxer or similar athlete. You can tell yourself that you could easily tone up, work out and turn the fat into muscle.
Except that it is not easy. You are comparing your 32% body fat with their 8%. This translates into tens of pounds of wobbly blubber!
A personal barrier for me is that the last time I remembered being sub 15 stone was as a teenager, maybe around 13 or 14 years old. If I ever dropped below 15 stone over the years since then, I haven’t weighed myself and noticed.
So, the 220 pounds and 210 pounds were mental blocks, for different reasons. Since I am creating a better life for myself for the rest of my life, let’s say 40 years or so, a few months of consolidation is perfectly fine. Certainly, not worth stressing about, or a reason to give up.
We all draw on narrative that we pick up over the years from other people
We often don’t know if it is true, but we draw on it regardless.
I have decided to think about the times that I have heard that ‘the longer it takes to lose the weight, the more likely you are to keep it off.’ Have you heard of that phrase? Is it true? It seems logical in that longer-term change involves ingrained habits so that is enough ‘evidence’ for me! It is all positive!
I am starting to see myself as a person who has developed self-control. Self-control is something that will improve with practice. It is a main reason why some people give up alcohol, cigarettes or drugs, and others don’t.
If you think that self-control is a natural ability, something you are born with, then you are limiting your ability to change.
Whenever we decide that factors and situations are beyond our control, then we remove our ability to influence them
Have you ever heard someone say something like:
- “I just have a sweet tooth; I can’t help it.”
- “I have tried to give up the alcohol but I have an addictive personality.”
“All my family are large, it’s just the way we are.”
Then you are hobbling yourself, crippling your own choices and decisions. It is free will that makes us different to animals. It is the ability to identify, tackle and overcome any problem that leads to satisfaction, wisdom and spiritual growth. It is in overcoming problems that we learn about ourselves and the meaning of life.
I might talk about this type of stuff a lot in these posts, but it is THAT important.
In case you are wondering, I weighed in at 207.4 pounds this morning. Only just below my plateau / consolidation. It doesn’t matter, my mind has adjusted to the new me, a work in progress, and I will see you at 200 pounds!
If I plateau there for a while, so be it, this is my life and I am on the right path at last. I can take a rest and smell the roses If I like.