This topic is similar to the previous one regarding work. Your main relationship and your job take up so much of your time, thoughts and energy that if there are problems, then these problems can have a huge affect.
If you are having a problem with a friend, whilst upsetting, it can easily be resolved. Issues with friends tend to resolve themselves either through reconciliation or replacement.
This is not always the case with a romantic or life partner. The amount of time spent with them can lead to a lack of perspective, if you deliberately take time apart then this can also be a problem. Tied housing and financial matters are also a complication.
We have all heard of the unhappy spouse who, after becoming single, lost lots of weight and became much happier. We have also seen the person unlucky in love who became single and ‘let themselves go’.
Clearly romantic relationships, and the potential for them, are often a factor in weight loss.
All the reasons why the wrong job can make you fat apply here. The stress hormones, lack of sleep, energy and passion in your life can be a trigger for weight gain.
If you think that your relationship could be a factor, you need to sit down and ask yourself some questions. Write everything down.
- What is the problem with the relationship? What else? What else?
- Do I still love my partner?
- Are shared habits the problem? (Microwave meals and delivery pizza together.) Is the relationship itself the problem?
- Do I want to stay in the relationship?
- Do I binge or sneak junk food when we are not getting on well?
- Does my partner make me feel insecure or useless which will lower my self-esteem and resolve?
- Does my partner really love me in a positive way? Is it a destructive relationship for us both?
- Can he or she change? Can I? Do we want to?
- Did the same dynamics occur in my previous relationships? Are my partners exes all fat? Did they lose weight after their break up?
- Would our relationship be better if I was sexy again? Maybe I feel ugly and push my partner away?
These aren’t posts about relationships. The list of questions above are for example purposes.
You need to be honest with yourself and write down all of your thoughts.
You need clarification about whether it is you, or them, or both; clarification on whether the relationship is fixable. The answers will be individual to you.
You might realize that your relationship will be much better if you lost weight; this will give you added incentive!
You might realize that the relationship is unfixable and a clean break is what you need to change your life!