Weight loss diets to be banned!
Due to the enormous failure rate combined with the extremely high relapse rate of almost every commercial diet plan, weight loss diets are going to be banned.
High brow boffins in government-funded research companies have realized that if any other product or service had a 95% failure rate, it would be banned under the trade descriptions act.
Timothy Timpkin, a senior research analyst at the Social Health Institute of Trends and Enterprises (SHITE) had this to say:
Imagine a glue that failed to bond 95% of the time? Imagine buying a car that looked very nice but in 90% of the cases failed to start?
Fat loss and weight loss diets fail almost all of the time. After possibly 100 years of new diet plans appearing every day, we have finally figured it out. Dieting does not work, almost everyone fails, and even worse, due to starvation, hormone imbalance and so on, most people end up fatter than when they started.
Clearly this is not acceptable. I mean, imagine a medicine that made you more sick after taking it 95% of the time? Would that medicine get banned?
Maybe not, but it should!
In what is likely to be a major wake up call for one of the biggest industries in the world, diet gurus are scratching their heads wondering what they are going to sell next.
What will people in the weight loss diet industry do now?
Here is what Flash Harry had to say:
People are people, if we are not allowed to promote weight loss diets, then we can put a spin on something else. I am very confident that I could sell anything to anyone. In fact I am looking forward to the challenge.
What does the Health, Efficiency, and Progress Institute of Dietary Trends have to say?
A spokesman released this statement:
After analysing the dietary habits of healthy people, we noticed that the most healthy people kept things simple. They ate whole foods, plenty of fruits and vegetables. A young intern said that in his history lesson, he heard that obesity was rare historically back when people ate real, healthy food.
This was like a Eureka moment for all of us. There we were, analyzing complex chemical formulas and testing all kinds of wacky stuff, suddenly this intern pulled back the curtain.
Eat healthy food!
We all sat around speechless. It was like the answer was there in front of us all the time. It was like this young intern was the little boy who announced that the emperor had no clothes.
I didn’t know whether to be delighted, embarrassed, or what… Then it dawned on me… This might be the end of my career, I mean ”eat healthy food” where is the extra value that I can add there?
In some ways I hope that we have made a mistake and all of our work has not been pointless, but I am buying some internet courses just in case…
This ( SPOOF :)… Just making sure you realize! ) report highlights a shocking truth. If we would just eat healthy food we probably would not have an issue with our weight.
This Report also highlights a very important distinction.
The distinction between eating a healthy diet and going on a diet.
Casual visitors and observers of the Fat Loss Mentality posts and musings might have thought that they have seen an error or contradiction here and there.
Of course, sometimes jokes are made that are not meant to be taken literally, but the main possible confusion might be associated with the wording in relation to diet and diets.
Fat Loss Mentality makes a huge distinction between “going on a diet” and eating a healthy diet. One is temporary one is permanent.
Now, if you glance over different articles here you might see in one place that we recommend a healthy diet. Nothing shocking here…
Somewhere else we might say never go on a diet…
Somewhere else we might recommend following the principles of the SlowCarb, Paleo, Dukan or Bulletproof diet…
Are we hypocrites? Morons?
To clarify, we recommend eating a healthy diet for the rest of your life. What you will find, whichever diet that you look at, the fundamentals are the same.
You will find recommendations to:
- Avoid processed food.
- Keep carbs and sugar to a minimum.
- Avoid food that scientists have “enhanced” (hydrogenated, homogenized, etc)
- More vegetables.
That is pretty much it. With a bit of common sense and self-control you should be able to achieve this without a big list of rules can’t you?
You are a “grown up” after all?
Do you really need a guru to tell you not to eat junk food?
The same applies to exercise. A fit person might see a benefit in exercise, but it is a way of life.
They chase the exercise and exciting life, health and vitality get jealous and chase them..
A vibrant life should be the goal, and the health should be the side benefit.
Choose foods that contribute to you having a better life, with more energy and feelings of happiness.
Choose physical activities that you actually enjoy doing, not just because you think that you ought to be doing them…
It is the distinction between trying to be a healthy person
And actually being healthy.
The distinction between “going on a diet”
And eating a healthy diet
The distinction between “doing some exercise”
And being a physically active person.