Everything that we do or create has a beginning or basis in our minds. Whether we are an inventor, an artist or simply living our lives. We first think, and then we act. Words are the tools or the instruments. Just as a piece of music can be inspiring or negative, so too can words.

The greatest leaders that the world has ever seen have all tended to be good with words. A well-chosen set of words can inspire and energize. Revolution and mass political or spiritual awakening has occurred when a leader has spread their views by using exactly the right words.

The biggest cause of failure and procrastination can be sourced to dominant words and therefore dominant thoughts.

Words are like musical notes, they can be harmonious and emotional, or chaotic and nauseating

Our minds contain all the knowledge and information built up over our lives. Sometimes our words hold clues about what we think or how our minds work.

If you hear someone saying that they feel that their life isn’t going well, they are telling you that they are an emotional person.

If they tell you that they think that their life isn’t going well, then they are more logical.

If they say that they hear that you are doing well, then they are a gossiper.

The words we use hold clues about our dominant thoughts and desires. The choice of our words demonstrates the way we think, what we believe and so on.

One thing to remember is that the process works both ways. The words that we use are an expression of our minds.

The words that we hear, or consciously think about can change our minds for better or for worse

If you feel sad then you might say sad things. Certainly, your internal narrative is likely to be negative. The phenomena also work in reverse. If you put yourself into a situation where you can see, hear, or feel in a positive way then you will end up thinking positive thoughts. If you feel negative or depressed, and then were to deliberately smile, laugh out loud or shout a silly phrase, then you will immediately feel better.

So If we can increase out awareness of these phenomena then we can start to fine-tune our dominant thoughts and actions. We can moderate our moods and thoughts simply by being aware of old negative words and patterns and steering ourselves into positive ones.

For those of you wondering why I am talking about these things, and what do they have to do with weight loss…

If you are fat then you will certainly have a bad vocabulary, or collections of dis-empowering phrases or words when describing your situation.

I believe that by identifying them one by one and doing our best to replace them with empowering words or phrases, we can change our personal beliefs and even our identity as a fat person.

Dis-empowering words or phrases are like self-limiting beliefs or self-fulfilling prophecies. They are a little subtler.

An example of a dis-empowering word is cuddly. If you are calling a child’s teddy bear cuddly then that is fine.

If you are describing yourself as cuddly based on being overweight, then you are giving your fat too much credit.

Unless you have fur, your ‘cuddly fat’ is likely to be sticky or even greasy or slimy to the touch!

See what I did? I turned a ‘cute’ connotation into a reason to lose weight! You might have gone from feeling warm and fluffy about the thought of a teddy bear, to being disgusted or even angry and offended! That is good, that is what I am trying to illustrate. That the words we use are important.

Here are some more examples:

Middle aged spread: The underlying message is that you’re not obese, you have just ‘spread’ a little more. Because you are middle-aged then it can be regarded as perfectly normal, natural and acceptable.

This is a dis-empowering phrase and masks the fact that you have a problem. It doesn’t matter whether other people have the same problem.

You are living your own life not some wobbly strangers! It’s like your mother probably told you, if other fat people were jumping off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff too?

Puppy fat: This is a particularly nasty one because fat children are told this by adults. Fat children grow into fat adults. If I had a fat puppy I would feel bad that I’m not taking out for enough exercise. It is the same with a fat child.

I would hope that it is even more relevant with a child than with a puppy. If you are fat at any age then you have problems. You are likely to have medical, social, psychological and hygiene problems, among others.

A child is particularly susceptible because they use adults as a role models. So don’t abuse your child or yourself by calling it puppy fat! There is no such thing as ‘puppy fat diabetes’ or ‘puppy fat heart disease’.

Other examples of dis-empowering words are expressed in negative ways. If you are poor and think that rich people are greedy or evil, then it is unlikely that you will become rich. If you see a picture of a model and call, then ‘scrawny’ or ‘skin and bones’ then you are self-sabotaging. After all, why would you want to be ‘skinny’, or to ‘look like a heroin addict’.

Realize that fit, slim and healthy people do not think of people that are around their ideal body weight in insulting terms. Nor do they glamorize fat people. They are more likely to see reality for what it is.

Let’s go back to the ideal weight charts, there will be an upper and lower band of ideal body weight, this band is quite big. It accounts for different sized builds and differing muscle mass. The next band is overweight, the next is obese. The chart is factual, scientific.

It is not a conspiracy by supermodels just to upset you.

If you think that you are big bones, then jump up and down naked in front of a mirror. If you think that you are quite strong or muscly then find a picture of a weight lifter that is the same body weight as you. Photo yourself naked, look at the pictures together. Do you still think that you are muscly?

That’s it, try to choose words that match with reality. Then try to use words that are empowering instead of dis-empowering

You are not ‘cute and cuddly’, you are fat.

The slim person is not ‘scrawny’ they are in an ideal band for optimum health, energy, self-esteem and attractiveness.

You might have a slightly larger frame, or be good at arm wrestling, but are you really ‘well built?’

You or your child do not have ‘puppy fat’. You have a serious problem that needs to be treated with respect. You have a duty to help your child. Not hurting them by twisting reality.

If that girl ‘looks like a stick insect’ they why is she getting so much attention from the men? While you aren’t getting any?

‘Fat and happy’…

REALLY?

‘Love handles?’

Say that with a straight face with the lights turned on…

Even when people refer to you as ‘big Harry’ remember that you are really ‘fat Harry’

When someone tries to console you by saying: “Lots of men or women PREFER a bigger lover” It is a half-truth. Don’t kid yourself. Maybe the preference is for a bigger penis or breasts. NOT a huge fat belly.

(The exception that makes the rule, please email me with a complaint.)

I realize that I have run the risk of offending some readers again, but all of this is part of the process of seeing reality. You want to associate negative mental words and images with being fat.

You want to start to associate positive words, images and mental narratives when confronted with health, energy, vitality and slim sexy people!

So, sorry if you have been offended again. One day you will get over it. Especially if I end up helping you a little…